Application Status Portal

Fall 2026 Admissions Cycle

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๐ŸŽ‰ CONGRATULATIONS! ๐ŸŽ‰

You have been $ENROLLED.

Influencer University ยท Class of 2026 ยท B.S. in Influencing

INFLUENCER UNIVERSITY
OFFICE OF ADMISSIONS ยท SEQUERE ME ยท EST. 2026

Dear Applicant,

On behalf of the Admissions Committee, it is my genuine pleasure to inform you that you have been accepted to Influencer University, Class of 2026, Bachelor of Science in Influencing.

You were selected from a highly competitive applicant pool of everyone. This year's acceptance rate was 100%, our most selective year to date.

The Committee was particularly impressed by your screen time, your willingness to film in public, and the fact that you opened this letter, which already places you in the top 100% of applicants.

We look forward to watching you monetize your personality.

Warmly,

Dean of Engagement
Influencer University
P.S. - Your parents have been notified. They are not proud, but they are aware.

COURSE CATALOG - FALL SEMESTER

COURSE CREDITS
RING LIGHT 101 - Foundations of Being Perceived 3
COMM 205 - Intro to Apologizing on Camera 3
ECON 310 - Dropshipping Ethics (canceled) 0
PSYCH 220 - Advanced Engagement Baiting 3
THEO 115 - Manifesting as a Business Model 3
PHIL 400 - 'Authenticity' (Scare Quotes Required) 3
CAP 499 - Senior Capstone: The Public Meltdown 4

DEGREE REQUIREMENTS

โœ…Gain 10,000 real followers (bots audited, allegedly)
โœ…Complete one (1) public apology arc
โœ…Secure a minimum of three (3) brand deals, one involving gummies
โœ…Use the phrase "so I sat down with my team" unironically
โฌœTouch grass (elective, never offered)

TUITION & FEES

Tuition: four years of your dignity, payable in content.

Room & Board: you will live online. Board not included.

Financial Aid: available in the form of a discount code (10% off, link in bio).

SECURE YOUR SPOT IN THE CLASS OF 2026

Enrollment deposit accepted exclusively in $ENROLLED.

Influencer University is not accredited, accountable, or embarrassed. $ENROLLED is a meme token. The degree, unfortunately, is real somewhere.